I'm still here in Alaska, and things are drifting through limbo in a gentle, downward sort of direction.
The pain is getting worse, and the medications aren't handling it as well as they used to. She doesn't even want to watch her TV anymore, and for her that's a real symptom. She has moments where she speaks clearly, but it's a crap-shoot as to whether or not what she says has anything to do with what's going on. She doesn't really know where she is. She doesn't recognize her own home.
I'm trying to keep her partner's spirits up, but that's hard. He's on the edge of tears all the time.
I wish I was. I'm stuck being calm and wise and all that. I'm so worried about everyone else, but I can't even look at how I feel. It's not a won't. It's a can't. I know it will come. I guess I should be grateful for the clarity right now. But I'm not.